| 11:20 PM |
That One True Friend |
I want that friend. That true friend that you can talk to about anything at any time. I want someone to listen to me and just understand how I am feeling. I want to feel like there is another woman out there who would do anything she could for me and me in return. I thought I had those types of friends, but I don't really. I want a close friend that I can talk to about my frustrations and accomplishments. I want to feel loved by a true friend. Everywhere I look it seems like everyone else out there has that one TRUE friend who will be there for you no matter what. That person who will tell you the truth even if it hurts. I have been hurt so badly in the past by people who I thought were true friends. I feel like I am afraid to try to "get" a closer friend in a fear that it will happen all over. Also, all of those friends seem to be taken. I am a very different person, maybe that is why I can't find that person. Is it me? Do I have an unattractive personality? I feel like I may, but I don't know what to do to change that. I don't know if I should change. I feel like I am changing, and I know that I have changed dramatically in the past year. Why can't I find that one person who will accept me for exactly who I am?
I am a sexually explicit, loud mouth, opinionated, loving, emotional, wonderful, don't give a damn what others think about me, tired, motherly, fantastic, kick ass, fun, creative, messy woman. I can't be all of me around every person I know. I don't really know anyone that I can be exactly who I am around (except for my darling Nathan). I want a woman who understands me just like Nathan. I have my mom and mil, but I want a woman friend who isn't related to me. I want what others have, that one true friend.
I am a sexually explicit, loud mouth, opinionated, loving, emotional, wonderful, don't give a damn what others think about me, tired, motherly, fantastic, kick ass, fun, creative, messy woman. I can't be all of me around every person I know. I don't really know anyone that I can be exactly who I am around (except for my darling Nathan). I want a woman who understands me just like Nathan. I have my mom and mil, but I want a woman friend who isn't related to me. I want what others have, that one true friend.
2 comments:
Hey Girl, I feel you!!! I have that... NOW. But I've been here over five years and I have only known that feeling in the past six months or so. Seriously. It takes time. I, too, was seriously burned by people I thought were true friends.
Your personality is lovely. Don't think it isn't. We ALL have quirks - I certainly do!!! My views and beliefs are so extreme that it makes people afraid to even try to understand me. I am intolerant of sinful behavior, which leaves me a very small pool of possible true friends. But I finally DO have a bff. Maybe two. It takes time. And it takes trust. And maybe even a drink or two ;)
We open up to people gradually. As we share more, we take note as to whether or not they are still accepting us as we are. If so, we share more. If not, we shut it down and move on. Simple, but emotionally frustrating. Once we realize we have someone who, while they may not agree with everything we believe and feel, they accept us AS WE ARE. They love us, in spite of (or possibly BECAUSE OF) all our quirks. They offer their opinions to us, knowing there will not be repercussions. They listen. They love us. They want US to be happy, just as we want them to be happy. They go out of their way for us. They cry when we're hurting. They laugh at our dumb jokes. They go all "Momma Bear" when someone hurts us. If you don't get to talk to them for a stretch, no one wonders if they've done something wrong - you just pick back up and realize you were both busy. See? Trust. It takes TIME to find a friend like that. They need you and you need them. They are gifts from God - true blessings, as your life is richer because they merely exist.
But mostly, they listen and they love. Unconditionally. And for a lifetime.
Love you.
MEGHAN! I find you to be one of the most hilarious people I know! You are so off the wall you remind me of me! I know what you mean about not being your "real" self totally around some people. I do it too. Girl I have been burned too. Friends just using me. I went friendless for years just ask my kids! That is why I am SO thankful I found this group. Other women with common interests. Girl do not ever change, who wants to fit in? When you do hook up with that BFF it will be forever! Of course I am sitting here with my hand in the air saying "pick me pick me" but I guess it's not that easy. But please know this I am always here for you to unload to vent to bitch to brag to whatever to. I know I am an oldie but I hate to admit it but I have never really grown up! I can relate to you chick!! In fact I told Nanette after game night that you were someone I could really hang out with. So let's do it!! No pressure though but I will expect you to try me out:)
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